At the moment I feel as though I am only living.
Not in the "I am living my life and it is wonderful and super fab" kind of living.
Just living.
I know I have a purpose and that everything happens for a reason..but those facts don't stop this feeling of emptiness.
I'm just going through the motions.
I'm not happy but I don't have a reason to be sad..
I've lost my 'spark' that I'm so used to having.
I want it back.
I know that I need to create it..but I almost feel as though I don't have a reason to.
I have thousands of reasons to be happy..
So its rather selfish for me to feel this way.
But I need something.
I don't know what it is but I know that I need it.
I try and get lost in my books..try to feel through someone elses life.
I listen to Taylor Swift&John Mayer getting lost in the lyrics.
I pick up my guitar to play away my fears...but then it brings me back to that time.
When I had a 'spark' and I was living.
I know.
I know I cant sit here wishing this and wanting that but occasionally I do.
I do wish this and I do want that.
And I want to feel that way..but I don't want it just so I can feel it.
So I am stuck.
I've learned not to be stuck in the past and to thrive in the future..because that isn't living.
So why do I feel as though I am doing just that?
It happens to all of us at some point, but you will get past this. You will get that "spark" back.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know what else to say other than it will be OK and maybe try doing something exciting...something that will make you feel happy.