soul awakening.

FAVORITE.
I'm obsessed with this.
I feel like we can all relate to this.
I feel like I've been in this situation the past few weeks.
Let's call it a life limbo.
I've been happy, and I've been fine, but just off.
I'm getting closer to graduating from my PTA program and I've got zero clue what I want to do with my life and where I want to go.
I've been missing my best friends so much.
I've questioned my beliefs.
I've felt weird about not serving a mission because lately it appears that most guys want a perfect RM to wife and that it makes them that much better than us girls who didn't get that answer to go and serve.
I've worried about not being able to do a study abroad or take a summer off to travel because I'll have my career now.
I've regretted my decision to  speed up my growing up into adult land by doing a 21 month straight intensive program because now I have to make hard decisions (and understand insurance kinda?).
I've felt like my life is controlled by time & sleep.
I've not had the desire to go & do social things as much as I used to so I could study (or watch One Tree Hill) and felt weird that I wasn't being myself but wondering if I was just being mature or if I should be worried.
I've been irritated by humans a lot even when I shouldn't have been.

Then today it all just kind of changed.
Literally just like that.
While I was sitting at a good friends baptism watching a beautiful picture slide show of Jesus Christ's life I had a "Soul awakening moment" that I didn't even know I'd been yearning for.
And it's the best feeling that I've felt in a really long time.
That everything is really okay.
That I don't have to have it all figured out.
That it's fine if dance parties & rap music get me PUMPED.
That the people I think are the most beautiful are the ones that have been through so much and know who they are, not the perfect girls I see on social media.
That it's okay I haven't met the love of my life yet because I'm only 19 and it will happen when it's supposed to.
That it's okay that I hate musicals and old movies SO much.
That my life's story is not the same as everyone else's and that's how it should be.
That the Atonement is so real and Christ is aware of me and I love Him SO much.
That I am where I am supposed to be in my life right now.
That it is okay if I want to take the night off and clean the kitchen while blaring All American Rejects instead of being social.
That good things are coming my way- I know it.
That happiness is what life is all about & finding the things that bring you that joy like Harry Styles, house decor, Sodalicious, and all things cheetah print.
That it's okay if I'm still torn up about Gossip Girl being over and love the Bachelor with a passion.
That the people you surround yourself with really do have such an affect on you & your life.
That man buns are so fabulous.
That life is good.

xo
Bay