f o r e v e r y o u n g

it's weird...this growing up thing.
sometimes i dont know how i feel about it...other times im like bring it.
when i was a younger there were always things to look forward to.
young womens, dances, high school, dating, prom, driving...
and now that i've began accomplishing all of those things i dreamed of... it's odd.
the next stages in my life are graduating, college, living on my own, marriage, children, adulthood...
and i still feel so little.
im not ready for those to be the next things in my life.
i want to be...but now that they are becoming reality...i want to put a pause on life.
because im not ready.
i still fan girl over a boy band.
i still need my parents when i am scared and stressed.
i still believe that hogwarts is awaiting my arrival.
i still wanna cry..and sometimes do cry...when my sisters pretend to be zombies.
i still sleep with my teddy bear named archie (yes he was named after david archuleta).
i still don't love driving because it slightly terrifies me.
i still have to sleep with my closet doors shut.
i still run up the stairs when i am home alone because i am scared something will chase me.
im not ready to grow up.
and the reality of this all is beginning to hit me.
i have friends in college.
my cousin and 2 of my best friends graduated this year.
another one of my friends is getting married.
my cousin that i grew up with is prego.
i'm freaking out here.
life is coming at me quickly.
i no longer can think to myself, oh ill worry about this later, ive got lots of time.
because time is going by fast.
and i still need to find my ground and figure out my life.
but part of me doesnt want to...
so its perplexing, basically.